Lesson 2 – Hello Espresso Martini

Friday had eventually arrived and after a hard week’s slog it was time to board the fun train and cause some mischief (would we ever!). The night started like any other in London. Dinner with “the lost boys”. Don’t pretend like you and your friends don’t have a self-proclaimed group name…. We ordered in the compulsory round of pints. And then another. And another. Ok, so things escalated pretty quickly.


Dinner was a delight – hipster joint serving absurdly small dishes at extortionate prices. But that’s part of the experience, right!? Dining in London is a real social affair where you can dive into unlimited culinary delights in beautiful settings, with beautiful people. Like life in London, it’s all a show. And I enjoy being the ringleader. Actually, imagine a small child wearing an oversized adults costume with top hat and it’s probably more accurate.


To keep the “PARTA” going or at least to get it started our London guide (or my mate…) took us to a suave little place and ordered us what he called an ‘espresso martini’. Like when the late cocktail mastermind Dick Bradsell first served it up he guaranteed it would wake us up and fuck us up. But to me it looked like puddle water, and honestly, I was disappointed, we’d literally just been served liquid shit in a martini glass. Obviously not the most logical explanation but when you’re 5 pints down you see things a little differently. But then again, a book should never be judged by its cover. 


And after an initial sip…I TOOK EVERYTHING BACK. It was an explosion of delight. Not too strong, not too sweet or bitter, as Goldilocks said “just right”.


Could this be the ultimate drink?! James Bond is the pinnacle of sophistication. However, a straight up martini isn’t to everyone’s taste, and when I say everyone I mean it’s a glass of pure undiluted spirit so of course bloody not! However, when the magic ingredient of coffee is added, it acts as a somewhat mysterious catalyst and Zeus’s own drink is formed. Yes. Zeus himself would definitely drink the Espresso Martini. Legend dictates that the espresso martini actually originates from a fountain high in the Peruvian mountains guarded for centuries by a local tribe, who have devoted their lives to protecting the precious source. Ok, so it’s actually a liquor called Kahlua but it would be a much better story. Not only that but imagine how suave you look, martini in hand, best blue steel impression engaged. In case you don’t get it, you look very cool.


We all looked at each other for we knew what we had discovered. Life was about to change as we knew it. Cars, wealth, women, the lot were about to be rained down upon us every time we had one. And this is exactly what the espresso martini does, it holds promises of grandeur that cannot be rivalled. Perhaps it will let you talk to that pretty lady, perhaps your friends will find you ever more funny and charming. And for that reason, the Espresso Martini easily deserves its place as London’s drink of choice. So, do check out Mr Black’s first London Espresso Martini Festival on 10-12th August –http://www.espressomartinifest.com/london-3/

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